Running in Beauty

reflection on 25

Thank you very much for all the birthday love. I still can't believe that I'm finished with one-quarter of my life and consider myself very lucky to have been blessed to live this long. Even on myspace I was blown away by all the love! Of course, I knew my close friends would wish me the best but everyone else was a complete surprise. I certainly felt special. Yesterday, I thought of a friend who was near and dear to me. Audrey passed away last Decemember.

She was only 24.

She was this incredible person...perhaps one of the most influential people I have ever had the chance to encounter. I know she had so much more to live for and accomplish. Her most untimely death changed my perspective on life and living to the fullest. Maybe because of her, I've become more aggressive in my willingness to help others, to not be so mean, and to chase after dreams with reckless pursuit and not being so fearful of rejection.

In the past year, I've learned to let go of people who were weighing me down and not to focus on the negativity. I'm a lot happier because of it. If they continue to talk shit, that's their problem--not mine.

I've learned that even the smallest contribution aids in change. Just yesterday, I wrote a memo to my program's staff and requested a staff meeting with our boss and our program's supervisor. I got tired of all the complaining, the lack of communication, and the lack of accountability. I can't believe I had the nerve to walk into my program supervisor's office to demand a meeting! I bet after I air out my frustrations, I'll be on the shit list. Oh well, nobody was going to do anything about the situation anyway. At least I could say, I tried. I'm still thinking, who the hell is this woman?

I've been open to my feelings with loved ones. It's still hard for me to say mushy stuff like, I love you, but life is way to short to be ashamed of saying such meaningful expressions. It makes people happy to hear words of appreciation and affection.

I've learned to be more patient and considerate of other people's perspectives and beliefs. I used to be so quick to judge, to label. Most people can surprise you if you just allow the time for their true person to come out. If this wasn't so, I wouldn't have made such a close friend over the past year. (Trish) :)

I've come to realize that every tomorrow holds promise to achieve greater accomplishments but don't be so caught up in it that I forget to live for and enjoy today.

Thank you, Audrey. You have helped me more that you will have ever known. You will always be dear to my heart. Art nerds forever!

etched in stone by carmen @ 11:26 PM